Question 1 Bros over Hoes/Chicks over Dicks

Ladies and Gentlemen of the eJury.

I pose to you an age old question of whether it is ever ok for a friend to have relations with a friend’s ex. Well is it ok? Ever?

Those of us who follow a less than absolute moral code will instantly say that their are exceptions to the rules of bro’s over hoes, and chicks over dicks.

The exceptions are as follows:

  1. Your friend didn’t date this girl or guy for a long time (one or two night stand)
  2. The relationship between your friend and their ex wasn’t serious (highschool fling, no sex)
  3. Your friend and their ex have been broken up for an extended period of time (This time period is relative, but the longer the better)
  4. I’m running out of excuses
  5. The girl/guy is too hot for you to turn down
  6. Real, and I’m talking genuine feelings, not just lusty-I-wanna-be-on- you-feelings, are shared between you and your friend’s ex
  7. Your friend has given you the ‘all clear’ for landing
  8. It was just a one night stand for you and your friend’s ex, and it will never happen again, and #’s 1, 2, or 3
  9. you’re not really that close of a friend to this guy/girl

Out of all the exceptions listed above (let me know if you can think of any more) the seventh is of paramount importance.

Also, you must use your own discretion and common sense. Your friend, feeling awkward about you even asking to for the all clear, might just say that he or she doesn’t care when in fact they actually do.

As crude as Bros over Hoes over Chicks over Dicks sounds, it references one of the most important bonds any of us can share with another human being: Friendship.

And before you proceed to answer this age old question, you must consider what is more important to you; your friend’s feelings, or your own gratification.

Quite the conundrum, n’est-ce pas?

Until next time,

Tuck in your shirt and please try to stay classy Internet,

Yours Cooly,

Black Ty

2 Responses

  1. Yes, I was in this situation. And yes, I was able to say no. It wasn’t easy – me being such a cocksman and all – but the obvious choice for a man of moral principle, was friendship.

    Now if you will excuse me I have a date with a Jergens bottle.

  2. Sooo #4 is hillarious because it was a true example of how people try and justify things but end up not having enough reasons in the world for it to be ok to make a move. And because it was just unexpected. I chuckled.

    I say, if it feels wrong, it is wrong. That can go for pretty much anything. But if it feels right and it’s still wrong then you’re just an idiot of a friend, which is no type of friend at all.

    I’d say #7 is theeee most important one, yet one of the trickiest because even though a friend says “it’s cool” they could very well be cursing you in their head for even having to answer that and of course really saying, “isn’t it obvious!!!” LOL.

    There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Find your own! Cuz really, it’s just awkward.

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