the number 23

I suppose if you continue to look for something you will indeed find it.

You will find signs in whatever subject or object you can in order to reinforce an image you have in your mind.  You will create false prophecy around this thing you want so bad, until you either take what you want, let what society thinks deter you from pursuing it, or go insane from either rejection or inaction.

Obsession can contain passion.  And passion feels so right when you feel its ecstasy fully enrapture your being.  And even though society, your own concept of right and wrong, and even close friends and confidants all tell you what you already know to be the truth, you still ask yourself: how can something that feels so right, be so wrong.

The only conclusion I can come up with is that all our passion, our instincts, our feelings, are not all springing forth from righteous wells.  And it is upon us to make the necessary distinctions in order to save our souls from being blemished.

I find myself resenting my creator on occasion, for all the trials he puts us through.  Is it his fault that I want these things? Or should I take responsibility for what has molded me, even from my early years, and try…no there is no try…and do the right thing and find a way to put a positive spin on everything?

Surely the latter is the right thing to do.  But I just find myself trying instead, setting myself up for possible failure, because the idea of this failure, would be a victory for part of myself.

I against I.

There can only be one.

Black Ty, on the south side of the Island of Trinidad

on the wrong side of love

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