Movie Review Monday: Somewhere

The above trailer is set to the music of my 2nd favorite band of all time (The Strokes) and their song I’ll Try Anything Once. Lyrics below.

I can see me in your eyes….

The song, and the movie remind me of the quiet, actually brief but seemingly epic moments in life when you truly appreciate what you have had, what you do have, and what you will get.

If you’ve ever tried and failed at being a Stephen Dorf fan, try again with Sophia Coppola’s Somewhere; a tale about a man trying to find himself while his daughter floats adrift in a broken home and dysfunctional family between parental units. A reminder that we don’t choose our parents or our kids, but that we can choose love and life over death and dismay.

Peace to the Godz and Earths.

Ten decisions shape your life,
you’ll be aware of 5 about,
7 ways to go through school,
either you’re noticed or left out,
7 ways to get ahead,
7 reasons to drop out,
when i said ‘ I can see me in your eyes’,
you said ‘I can see you in my bed’,
that’s not just friendship that’s romance too,
you like music we can dance to,

Sit me down,
Shut me up,
i’ll calm down,
and i’ll get along with you,

There is a time when we all fail,
some people take it pretty well,
some take it all out on themselves,
some they just take it out on friends,
oh everybody plays the game,
and if you don’t you’re called insane,

Don’t don’t don’t don’t it’s not safe no more,
i’ve got to see you one more time,
soon you were born,
in 1984,

Sit me down,
shut me up,
i’ll calm down,
and i’ll get along with you,

Everybody was well dressed,
and everybody was a mess,
6 things without fail you must do,
so that your woman loves just you,
oh all the girls played mental games,
and all the guys were dressed the same,

Why not try it all,
if you only remember it once,
oooh ooooooh,

Sit me down,
shut me up,
i’ll calm down,
and i’ll get along with you,

(okay one more time)

TIES ON TIES ON TIES ON TIES ON TIES

“…in the past if you picture events, like a black tie,
what’s last thing you expect to see? black guys…”

Kanye on Murder to Excellence – Watch the Throne

Stay Sassy Internutz,

Black Ty

This Week @ The Movies: Funny People

Jonah Hill, Eric Bana and Jason Schwartzman also star. With Appearances and Cameos by The RZA, Eminem, Justin Long, Ray Romano, Sarah Silverman, Norm MacDonald, Raaaaandy! aka Aziz Ansari, Paul Reiser from Mad About You, and some more that I can’t remember right now.

This is a great role for Sandler because it allows him to show his depth as an actor. Funny people is not Little Nicky. The storyline in this movie is realistic and really funny. Complete with comedy, drama, never before seen cut scenes from Sandler’s early career and classic stand up sets from the actors/comedians playing actors/comedians.

The first few trailers cannot prepare you for the surprises this movie has in store. Careful though, the longer you wait to see this the more of the movie they will spoil for you in the coming weeks with TV spots 4-20 something too many.

The hype has faded around Transformers 2…this is now my new favorite movie of 2009.
I give it 4/5 Bo-Ty’s.

Not sure what to do this weekend? Rainy weather got you down? This movie will make a great wânhuì.

I’ll also give this movie a special Norm MacDonald rater for the guest appearance I loved the most.

Stay Classy!

zàijiàn

Bangkok Dangerous

would you retire already? how about Directing?

would you retire already? how about Directing?

“My name’s Joe. This is what I do.”

A hitman who’s in Bangkok to pull off a series of jobs falls for a local woman and bonds with his errand boy.

I did not think I was going to get through this whole thing.  Cage’s career has been on a constant down spiral ever since he refused to cut his hair and accept his receding hairline.

He did a worse job in Ghost Rider than Ben Affleck did in Daredevil; and I don’t think anybody thought that was possible. Peace to Affleck though who is directing more now and even manages to come off as believable in his latest roles (I can tell you have been working on your craft)

But I digress. Back to National Treasure part 2 star Nikolai Cagwoski.  Give it up already.  I hear you’re doing a comic book with your brother called Voodoo Child.  Maybe you should stick to that for a while, maybe make a movie out of it, give some black actors a shot.

I am looking forward to your role in the live action adaptation of the Kick Ass comic book.

Kick-Ass is an ongoing, creator-owned, American comic book series written by Mark Millar and illustrated by John Romita, Jr. It is published by Marvel Comics under the company's Icon imprint.

Kick-Ass is an ongoing, creator-owned, American comic book series written by Mark Millar and illustrated by John Romita, Jr. It is published by Marvel Comics under the company's Icon imprint.

I guess with a guy like you (a steady working actor the likes of Samuel L. Jackson) we are bound to get a shit load of crap movies in between your good ones.  I can’t think of one since Lord of War.

I’m gonna be watching Knowing after this…I’ll try to be merciful.

It’s funny that I have so much to write about a star I claim is fading from brilliance. Perhaps that’s because I loved Leaving Las Vegas so much or maybe it’s because Cage is a fellow comic book fan.

Anyhoo, Bangkok Dangerous is ok, it serves its purpose among the other assassin movies of its sort; namely allowing viewers to imagine the life of a professional killer with all its intricacies and professional hazards. It even has a little sequence where Cage instructs a civilian with the basics of how to be a killer. I give this stat stuffer of a movie 2/5 Bo-Ty’s.

sub-par action, bad scar tissue make-up, and that damn hair cut!

sub-par action, bad scar tissue make-up, and that damn hair cut!

With a special HITMAN rater to remind us of a movie and even moreso a video game that did it better.

class class class

class class class

Stay Classy.

The Lazarus Project

lazarus project
A former criminal is drawn into a criminal endeavor and subsequently finds himself living an inexplicable new life working at a psychiatric facility.

Starring Paul Walker, Piper Perabo and Malcolm Goodwin.  Not a bad film.  (SPOILER ALERT) Could have been great if they added something supernatural; maybe not on the part of his captors, but inside him rather.

I’ll give this 2.5/5 Bo-Ty’s.

not a total waste of time, but predictable after a while

not a total waste of time, but predictable after a while

Peep the trailer:

Special Joker rater for the crazies depicted in this flick.

why so serious?

why so serious?

Stay Classy.

Bottle Shock

drab humor

drab humor

The story of the early days of California wine making featuring the now infamous, blind Paris wine tasting of 1976 that has come to be known as “Judgment of Paris”.

New on DVD, Bottle Shock definitely ranks up there with movies like A Good Year and Sideways in their ability to make you want to drink good wine.

Mildy humoristic and pleasant, Alan Rickman’s straight face drab voice is kind of getting annoying to me now; he sounds the same in every movie. Chris Pine, now known for his role as Captain James Tiberius Kirk in this summer’s blockbuster reimagining of Stark Trek, has horrible hair in this. I’m not a homo, hell i’m not even half-a-fag, but his wig in this movie is worse than Halle Berry’s in X-Men 1.

I gotta have Faith

Eliza Dushku, who will always be Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to me, is always a pleasure to behold. I gotta have Faith....BABE-AY!

Peep the trailer:

I give this corkomedy 2.5/5 Bo-Ty’s.

barely watchable

barely watchable

With a special snooty British man rater for the air of entitlement you’re sure to feel when you pour a glass of your fav (or whatever’s available) while watching this flick:

Stay Classy.

lah dee dah hoo hoo haaa root doot dooo

lah dee dah hoo hoo haaa root doot dooo

Ty