i'm a sarcastic ass, especially in the morning

thanks for angry-rant inducing text this morn matty, i luv ya

My brother woke me up with this b.s. this morning. For a little context, he had just told me two days ago that he couldn’t live with me because I was “too dirty for his taste”. Alleging instances where I supposedly leave used dishes with caked-on food lying around my room. And…I am working at home and I’m a light sleeper.

Matthew – Donde es el Tabasco sauce???

Tyrone – Bottle dropped and broke

Matt – Wtf

Ty – j/k

M – So it’s beside your bed?
Under your pillow?

T – Don’t you have work to do?
I left it in the basement, warden

M – I wanted to put some [Tabasco] on my fucking lunch and eggs this
morning but it was no where to be found!

T – Oh, that’s a shame

M – You don’t even think of these things… It’s just the way you are which is
one of the reasons I say I can’t live with your ass

T – Yeah, I’m a bad person

M- Case in point.

T – The way I am … is … If you asked me to procure the Tabasco sauce for you this morning when you opened my bedroom door, I would have. If you ask me to clean something, I’d do it. Anything, I’d do it. I’m glad you’re communicating now, about having measured, weighed me, and found my character wanting or least not up to par with your lofty standards. Open your mouth and say what needs to be said next time, instead of walking away with a tasteless sandwich and a biting your tongue and stomping like a little bitch!

M – I didn’t want to wake you this morning. Had another quick look around for it in the kitchen before I left instead

T – Then I’m sorry, I apologize for your pussy-footing around my door aujourd’hui. I have all day to sleep. If you are so sure that I am this prickish unsanitary fellow that you have conjured up, Horatio, then treat me as such in the moment, wake me up, speak, [so as] to spare me a repeat of this drab bland-sandwich-discourse. I hope you deal with whatever’s really bothering you and come out on top. Enjoy the rest of your day.

M – Lol. I’m fine man. Lol. It wasn’t that big a deal. It was your reaction that was annoying to me

….i did not respond any further.

What do you think of that? Yeah, I was being rude when he first asked, with 3 question marks, but his text woke me up! I was cranky! fuck!

Stay Classy Internet,

although as you can clearly see from above, it ain’t always so easy, work your way with words and a heart that’s true, down the mountain of conflict, to the calm sea bed of compromise,

Black Ty